WEBVTT
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I've done a lot of public speaking and teaching, um, parents with cancer metastatic disease, or, you know, early stage and a lot of them come up to me afterward and say, I didn't think I could use the word cancer.
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Mm.
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kids,
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Mm.
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hmm.
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Mm hmm.
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understand why I need to use that word.
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I now know how I can explain it in a way that isn't terrifying.
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Um, I, I think a lot of parents think that they are protecting their kids by not explaining it, but it actually turns out.
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You know, the exact opposite
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I'm Dr Tina Kaczor
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and I'm Dr Leah Sherman
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And we're two naturopathic doctors who practice integrative cancer care
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But we're not your doctors
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This is for education entertainment and informational purposes only
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do not apply any of this information without first speaking to your doctor
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The views and opinions expressed on this podcast by the hosts and their guests are solely their own
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Welcome to the cancer pod
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Hey, Tina,
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Hey, Leah.
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how much fun was this conversation?
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I had a great time.
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I think
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This was such a good interview.
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I said, I know we say this all the time, but it really was.
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We spoke with Sarah Ulsher who is the creator of and Bright.
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She underwent some major life changes and um She took her experience as a cancer survivor and experience through divorce and she created this business.
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She wrote a book, um, ended up writing 12 books.
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I guess that's what she's up to now.
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she has these, schedules that she's created through Mighty and Bright where you can use them with kids to help them kind of manage their lives.
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And, I don't know.
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I don't want to give too much away, but that's kind of the summary.
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Do you think that's a good summary?
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that's a good summary.
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I think that, yeah, faced with challenges, she saw how universal some of her challenges are, and she set about finding solutions, not just for her own kid, but more applicable broadly for other folks out there who
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Yeah,
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are single moms or have cancer diagnoses and have to go through that.
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Mm hmm.
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Yeah.
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eloquent now.
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And it was a really great conversation.
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I don't know if we mentioned at the end, but she, we did talk about her TikTok.
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Um, she has an Instagram, it's mightyandbrightco, C O.
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So if we failed to mention that, we'll also have links in the show notes, um, to how you can find her, including her websites and how to order the books and everything.
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But,
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Yeah.
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And as always, I mean, the whole idea here is for our listeners to gain some knowledge that is either helpful for them personally or for their loved ones or someone they know.
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I mean, there's a lot of, a lot of really useful tidbits in here.
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I think that can be helpful for people.
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yeah, and this is one of the first ones.
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I'm gonna leave.
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Um, to people about, you know, like family being kind of part of this whole cancer world.
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Um, but this is the one where we really talk about, you know, kids and the impact it has on kids.
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And so
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Yeah.
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of a, you know, it's a, it's a, it's a new world for us, but a
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Yeah,
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it's a whole new world.
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yeah, yeah, it's definitely a big, a steep learning curve for me, um, because I don't have kids.
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So,
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either.
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yeah, so the challenges I understand them in the abstract and I can only appreciate the fact that I only know them in the abstract that that's a lot different to live through it.
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I would imagine.
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Yeah, and we've had patients, obviously, who have children and, you know, trying to work with them through some of these issues that come up.
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I wish I knew about the solution before, because this would be something that I would definitely recommend
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Yes.
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patients,
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Totally agree.
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Having some tools to help bring kids along and help them through it and lessen their anxiety that they might have.
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right?
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yeah, yeah, it was a great conversation.
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okay, so before we get to the episode, Remember, you can follow us on Instagram, we're on TikTok, YouTube, if watching this video on YouTube, hello there, um, uh, and we are listener supported, I sound like NPR.
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There's a little microphone tab off to the side and leave us a message and we will play it.
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Without further ado, here's our guest, hello, Sarah.
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Thank you for joining us.
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Thank
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you so much for having me.
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I'm really excited to chat with you.
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Yeah.
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We did some looking online and you're quite prolific with your books.
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And so I can see that this has been going on about five years from what I can tell, maybe longer in your storyline, but as far as what's been published, Amazon and such, um, Can you start us out with a little of what inspired you and your background on creating these books specifically for children and helping children understand what's going on with their parents during treatment for cancer?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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so my background is in psychology and I was like running a business on the side that was very much about kids, mental health and like, how to help them through transitions and hard things.
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Um, so I had like, a background knowledge of kind of how kids cope when something hard happens.
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and I really needed that because when I was 34 and my daughter was 6.
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I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I, I was divorced at the time and I had a family history of breast cancer.
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And so I had just been advocating for myself for a long time, like, hey, I think I need early screenings and then I started to have this weird sensation and my left breast that felt like breast milk being let down.
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I had kind of gotten.
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Poo pooed by my doctor, um, previously about the early screening.
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She was like, yeah, you know, unless you have a 1st degree relative, we're no longer doing, you know, early detection and I had literally every single woman in my family on both sides had breast cancer, except for my mother at that point.
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Um, my dad's side of the family is Ashkenazi Jewish.
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I had.
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No genetic screenings, nothing.
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And I just thought this is ridiculous.
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So when I started having that weird sensation, I just thought I should a go get this checked out.
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And B, I'm no longer taking no for an answer at this point, because my mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, um, postmenopausal breast cancer.
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She just had a lumpectomy.
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It was really like.
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Not that big of a deal in the breast cancer world.
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Um, and so I went into the doctor.
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She didn't feel anything, but she got me into the early screening program and so I went in for my baseline MRI.
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They said, we see something kind of funny, but we often see things that are kind of funny.
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Mm hmm.
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so I went in for a ultrasound and a diagnostic mammogram at 4 PM on a Friday afternoon.
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And And the radiologist looked very serious looking at my ultrasound I said, what is going on?
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Like, am I going to need a biopsy?
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And he looks at me and says, do you want me to be frank?
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I'm thinking, yeah, like, I don't want to wait off all weekend.
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Right.
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And he said, what we are seeing can be nothing other than cancer and you are going to need your entire left breast removed I was very much in shock.
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I was like, no, no, I, I don't think you understand.
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Like, I'm 34.
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Right.
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a single mom.
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This is not part of my plan.
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Mm hmm.
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so I don't, know, I don't know what you're talking about and I literally had to have this man talk to my parents on the phone because my dad was a doctor and explain to them what was going on.
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because I couldn't process it
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Mm hmm.
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that I had DCIS.
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And it turned out, uh, so I was going to go in for a preventative double mastectomy.
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I was like, don't leave one of them.
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Just take it all.
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Um, and when I woke up from that surgery, it turned out that it had actually spread to my lymph nodes already.
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I never had a tumor.
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If I had not gone in and advocated for myself, I probably would not be sitting here.
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That was 7 years ago.
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So, wait, wait, wait.
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You never had a tumor.
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You mean they didn't, uh, they didn't identify a tumor itself?
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calcifications all the way up from my nipple, all the way to my lymph nodes.
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So there was nothing palpable.
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You couldn't feel it.
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not a
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Oh wow.
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at any point, I
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Okay.
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a single thing, even right before my surgery, there was no lump.
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So, uh, obviously, super terrifying, and, um, my number one fear, even when I thought it was stage zero, was what, Am I going to do about my daughter?
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Because
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hmm.
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our background was that she had really severe anxiety and like she was diagnosed with separation anxiety.
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Like I was her person
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Mm hmm.
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Mm
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only thing I could think about was like her tear stained face at my funeral.
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Like
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hmm.
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dark,
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And how old was she at this time that she was six when you were diagnosed.
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Okay.
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And just to clarify, is this lobular or ductal?
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it was, uh, ductal.
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It was ductile.
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Okay.
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Mm hmm.
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Because lobular often doesn't, isn't palpable.
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That's why I was asking.
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Like that's not uncommon,
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and my mom had lobular.
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That was that first diagnosis she had, and then the year after I had cancer, she was diagnosed in her other breast with ductal.
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Okay.
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we've had a whole lot of cancer in my family.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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In a short period of time.
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a cancer sandwich.
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We have pictures of my mom and I with no hair together.
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Well, yeah, that's a hell of a way to bond.
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Mm hmm.
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Yeah, my dad was like, this is not a good group activity.
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Can you
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Yeah, right.
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Exactly.
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All right, so, so your daughter was six.
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and so what I did was because I had this background in psychology and specifically with, you know, helping kids cope with transitions like divorce.
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I, knew that I needed to explain things to her.
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I couldn't just, you know, pretend like everything was okay and have her be fine because I knew she was going to notice like the change in the air.
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She was going to know something wasn't right.
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And so my go to with any like big thing was like, I'm going to go get a book to help me explain this to her.
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So.
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I think I bought probably six books and got another like four at the library
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Mm hmm.
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Them home and was immediately like, well, this is a no.
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I mean, one of the books, like on an Amazon literally had a surgeon holding a bloody knife and I was
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Oh my god.
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who let this go?
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That's right.
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That's for a children's book.
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Yes.
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Whoa.
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but the thing that I realized, like.
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After looking through all those books was I actually wanted to explain to her what cancer was.
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And
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Mm hmm.
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this was 7 years ago, there was nothing out there that explained the science of cancer in a way that.
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I mean, even probably an adult could understand on a basic level.
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It
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Mm hmm.
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children's books about it.
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so I kind of had to come up with my own method of explaining it to her and I so that.
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Explanation, which we can get into if you would like, but that kind of served as a basis for what I did during my treatment, because I immediately took a leave of absence from work, but the way I kept my brain occupied was writing my first book and illustrating it.
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Yeah Yeah, and the name of that book because jotted that one down What Happens When Someone I Love Has Cancer
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Mm hmm.
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Explain the science Of cancer and how a loved one's diagnosis and treatment affects a kid's day to day life.
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Mm
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was its subtitle, right?
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um, and that's still available.
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used in children's hospitals all over the country.
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It's really yeah.
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Thank you.
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It really is what I.
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This, I just have such a passion for helping parents have really difficult conversations with their kids, because if there's no resources out there, what I've learned is parents will just not have a conversation, because they
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Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I mean, that is the biggest compliment to any author is readership, right?
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That's what you want.
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You want it to get it out there, especially self help books or books that will help parents bridge their conversations with their kids.
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I did look at some interviews you did online and communication was, was really the crux of what you want to get out there is, is helping bridge the communication gap out there between the adults and the kids.
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For sure, for sure.
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Yeah, I would say, I've done a lot of public speaking and teaching, um, parents with cancer metastatic disease, or, you know, early stage and a lot of them come up to me afterward and say, I didn't think I could use the word cancer.
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Mm.
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kids,
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Mm.
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hmm.
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Mm hmm.
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understand why I need to use that word.
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I now know how I can explain it in a way that isn't terrifying.
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Um, I, I think a lot of parents think that they are protecting their kids by not explaining it, but it actually turns out.
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You know, the exact opposite and I had to explain to my daughter to, you know, I'm really young and so cancer is a really big word.
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That means a lot of different things and it can mean, a really big, illness where people are sick for a really long time.
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Some, some people die and that isn't the type of cancer that I have, but the people.
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Who you're going to talk to or I'm going to talk to are going to have a strong reaction because they don't know what type of cancer I have.
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Mm.
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this conversation with you so that you don't get scared when you see how other people react,
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Mm hmm.